Navigate with us:

• About the book The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm in a Busy World by Haemin Sunim
• Summary of the book How to Be Calm in a Busy World: 
• Chapter 1: The Power of Slowing Down
• Chapter 2: Finding Peace in a Busy World
• Chapter 3: Handling Disappointments with Grace
• Chapter 4: Building Stronger Relationships
• Chapter 5: Embracing the Present Moment
• Chapter 6: Overcoming Stress and Worry
• Chapter 7: Discovering Joy in the Little Things
• Chapter 8: Letting Go of Perfection
• Chapter 9: Cultivating Mindfulness Every Day
• Chapter 10: Living with Balance and Calm
• Takeaway and final review of the book

About the book The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm in a Busy World by Haemin Sunim

Enter Haemin Sunim with a simple but powerful message, slow down. His book is like a soothing cup of tea for your over-caffeinated soul. Instead of constantly rushing, Sunim suggests we take a moment to breathe, to be present, and to really look around. Spoiler alert: slowing down doesn’t make you lazy. In fact, it can make you more productive and way less stressed out.

The book isn’t some mystical, out-of-reach self-help guide that tells you to quit your job and meditate in the mountains. It’s practical, filled with everyday wisdom that actually makes sense. Sunim believes that by slowing down, we can handle life’s disappointments and tricky relationships with more grace. When you pause before reacting, you’ll find that most things aren’t as catastrophic as they seem in the heat of the moment. Plus, you start to notice little bits of joy hiding in plain sight, like enjoying a quiet moment in your day or laughing at something silly.

The best part is You don’t need to completely change your life to apply his advice. It’s about creating small pockets of calm in your daily routine. Whether it’s taking a deep breath before sending that angry email or appreciating your morning coffee without checking your phone, these tiny changes add up. Sunim’s message is simple: slow down, be mindful, and find peace in the chaos. Because let’s face it, life isn’t going to stop being hectic anytime soon, but you can decide how you want to approach it.

Summary of the book How to Be Calm in a Busy World: 

Life can feel like a race, especially in our fast-paced world where everything seems to move at lightning speed. We juggle work, personal relationships, disappointments, and all sorts of daily stressors. It’s easy to feel like we’re barely keeping up, constantly running toward some invisible finish line. But Haemin Sunim, in his wonderfully calming book, shows us that maybe we don’t have to run at all. In fact, he suggests we do the exact opposite, slow down, take a breath, and really look at what’s happening around us. It’s like he’s telling us to step off the treadmill and enjoy a peaceful walk instead.

Sunim’s whole philosophy revolves around the idea that by slowing down, we can find the strength and joy we need to navigate life’s challenges. At first, it seems counterintuitive. We’ve been trained to believe that speed equals success. The faster we solve a problem or respond to an email, the better. But Sunim flips this notion on its head. He reminds us that slowing down doesn’t mean being lazy or unproductive, it means being mindful, intentional, and, ultimately, more effective. Think about it like this: imagine you’re in the middle of a crazy storm. The wind is howling, the rain is pouring, and you’re frantically trying to hold onto your umbrella while keeping your balance. It’s chaotic. Now, Sunim would tell you to pause for a moment. Close the umbrella, stop fighting the storm, and just observe. The storm will pass eventually, and once it does, you’ll see things more clearly. The storm, of course, is life, its disappointments, its challenges, its messy relationships. By slowing down, we give ourselves a chance to process everything calmly, instead of panicking and making things worse.

One of the key things Sunim emphasizes is how slowing down helps with handling disappointments. We all face them. Maybe you didn’t get the promotion you wanted, or a relationship didn’t work out. Our natural reaction is to get upset, frustrated, or even angry. But Sunim gently suggests that we approach these disappointments with a little more grace. When you slow down, you have time to reflect. You can see that maybe the promotion wasn’t the right fit for you after all, or that the relationship was teaching you something about yourself. It’s not about denying the disappointment, but rather giving yourself the space to feel it, learn from it, and move forward without the drama of rushing through the emotions.

The same idea applies to personal relationships. Let’s face it, relationships can be tough. Whether it’s with family, friends, or romantic partners, we often find ourselves in situations where emotions run high. Someone says something hurtful, or there’s a misunderstanding, and before you know it, things spiral out of control. Sunim’s approach is refreshingly simple: slow down. Instead of reacting in the heat of the moment, take a step back. Pause before you respond, and really think about what’s happening. Chances are, in that pause, you’ll realize that maybe the other person didn’t mean to upset you, or that the issue isn’t as big as it seems. Slowing down gives you the chance to communicate with more compassion and understanding, which can make all the difference.

Sunim’s teachings aren’t just about avoiding stress or disappointment, though. He also talks about how slowing down can help us find joy in the little things. We’re often so busy rushing from one task to the next that we miss out on the small moments of happiness that are right in front of us. Think about how often you’ve scrolled through your phone while eating lunch or zoned out during a conversation because your mind was elsewhere. By slowing down, Sunim says, we can start to appreciate these everyday moments more. It’s not about having grand, life-changing experiences every day, it’s about finding contentment in the simple things, like enjoying a quiet cup of tea or taking a walk without any distractions.

One of the most striking things about Sunim’s message is that it feels so attainable. He’s not asking us to drop everything and go meditate on a mountain retreat. Instead, he’s offering practical, easy-to-apply advice that fits into our everyday lives. You don’t need to overhaul your entire routine; you just need to create moments of stillness. Maybe it’s taking five minutes in the morning to breathe deeply before diving into your emails, or maybe it’s pausing for a few seconds before you respond to a difficult situation. These small moments of slowing down can have a big impact on your overall well-being. And here’s the best part: by slowing down, you actually become more productive. It sounds paradoxical, but it’s true. When you’re constantly rushing, your mind is scattered. You’re more likely to make mistakes, forget things, or burn out. But when you slow down, you can focus more clearly on the task at hand. You make better decisions, you communicate more effectively, and you get things done with less stress. It’s like the tortoise and the hare slow and steady really does win the race.

In the end, Sunim’s message is a gentle reminder that we don’t have to live in a constant state of hurry. Life will always throw challenges our way, but we have the choice to handle them with calmness and clarity. By slowing down, we can find peace in the chaos, strength in the stillness, and joy in the simple moments. It’s not about escaping life’s problems, but about approaching them with a new mindset, one that’s rooted in patience, mindfulness, and a sense of calm. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed by the demands of modern life, remember Sunim’s advice. Take a deep breath, slow down, and let go of the need to rush. 

Chapter 1: The Power of Slowing Down

We live in a world where fast is the new normal. Fast food, fast cars, fast internet everything is about speed. We’ve been trained to believe that if we’re not moving quickly, we’re somehow falling behind. But have you ever noticed how exhausting that is? Life can feel like a never-ending race, and no matter how fast you go, there’s always something or someone ahead of you. It’s a hamster wheel that leaves you feeling worn out, not accomplished.

In Chapter 1 of Haemin Sunim’s book, he offers a refreshingly simple solution: slow down. Yes, that’s right. Instead of speeding up to catch up, he suggests we take our foot off the gas pedal and start coasting a little. At first, it might feel unnatural, especially if you’re used to living life at full throttle. But here’s the thing, slowing down doesn’t mean you’re lazy or unproductive. It actually makes you more aware, more present, and surprisingly, more efficient.

Think about the last time you rushed through something. Maybe it was a work task, a conversation, or even your morning routine. When you’re in a hurry, mistakes happen. You forget things, you miscommunicate, and let’s face it you don’t enjoy any of it. Sunim’s point is that when you slow down, you not only reduce errors, but you also start to appreciate the process. Instead of rushing through breakfast while scrolling through your phone, imagine sitting down, savoring each bite, and feeling thankful for that quiet moment. Sure, it’s just breakfast, but slowing down turns it into a small, enjoyable experience rather than a forgettable task.

One of the main ideas Sunim emphasizes in this chapter is that we often confuse speed with progress. We think if we’re moving fast, we must be achieving something. But sometimes, we’re just going in circles. Picture yourself driving really fast, but you don’t know where you’re going. You might cover a lot of distance, but are you getting any closer to where you actually want to be? Slowing down gives you time to think, to reflect, and to check if you’re heading in the right direction.

Now, this all sounds great in theory, but how do you actually slow down in a world that’s constantly pushing you to go faster? Sunim offers some practical tips. It’s not about dropping everything and becoming a monk (though, honestly, some days that might sound appealing). It’s about making small adjustments in your daily life. For example, when you’re in a conversation, instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next, really listen to the other person. When you’re walking somewhere, instead of rushing to get there, pay attention to your surroundings. These tiny changes help you stay present, and suddenly, the world doesn’t seem like it’s spinning out of control.

There’s also the issue of multitasking. We’ve been told that being able to juggle ten things at once is a superpower, but the truth is, it’s not. Multitasking often means doing a lot of things poorly, instead of doing one thing really well. Sunim encourages us to focus on one task at a time. It might feel slower, but you end up getting more done because you’re giving your full attention to each task. Plus, you’ll feel less stressed. Remember the last time you tried answering an email while talking on the phone and cooking dinner? It was chaos, right? Slowing down means doing less at once, but doing it better.

Another thing Sunim talks about is how slowing down can help us handle stress. When we’re constantly rushing, everything feels urgent. A simple task suddenly becomes a crisis because we’re already in panic mode. Slowing down helps you see things more clearly. You start to realize that not everything is an emergency, and you don’t have to react to everything immediately. It’s like switching from sprinting to walking, when you’re sprinting, you don’t have time to look around or think about where you’re going. But when you walk, you can see the path ahead, plan your steps, and avoid stumbling.

Let’s talk about decision-making. Have you ever made a snap decision because you were in a rush, only to regret it later? It happens all the time. When you’re in a hurry, you don’t give yourself the time to weigh your options, and that’s when bad choices happen. Sunim suggests slowing down, especially when making important decisions. Taking a moment to pause, reflect, and consider the consequences can save you from a lot of unnecessary headaches. You might find that what seemed like a big deal in the heat of the moment isn’t so urgent after all.

Of course, slowing down doesn’t mean you’ll never experience stress or frustration again. Life will always throw challenges your way. But the beauty of Sunim’s approach is that by slowing down, you’re better equipped to handle those challenges. When you’re not rushing through life, you have the mental space to think clearly, the emotional capacity to respond calmly, and the physical energy to deal with whatever comes your way. It’s like building a buffer between you and the chaos, a little cushion of calm that helps you navigate life’s ups and downs with more ease.

In the end, Chapter 1 is all about giving yourself permission to stop rushing. It’s a reminder that life isn’t a race, and there’s no prize for finishing first. In fact, the real reward comes from enjoying the journey, taking the time to savor the small moments, to appreciate the people around you, and to find peace in the present. Sunim’s message is clear: slow down, and you’ll not only move through life with more grace, but you’ll also find joy in places you never expected. And honestly, who doesn’t want a little more joy?

Chapter 2: Finding Peace in a Busy World

Finding calm in a world where everything happens at breakneck speed seems nearly impossible. Emails, texts, deadlines, and an endless to-do list are all around you. It’s like attempting to practice meditation during a rock concert. However, the truth is that serenity does not always materialize when things in life become calmer. Peace is something you can create, even in the midst of chaos. That is the subject of Chapter 2 of Haemin Sunim’s book. He teaches us how to attain serenity by altering our approach to life’s chaos rather than escaping it.

I mean, that sounds very Zen. Let’s simplify it into something more understandable, though. Imagine yourself in this situation: your GPS has just sent you down some backroads that look like they belong in a horror film, and you’re caught in traffic and running late for a meeting. Most of us would be clenching our teeth, squeezing the steering wheel, and considering composing a letter of complaint to whoever designed these roads at this point. Sunim would advise taking a different strategy: take a deep breath, acknowledge the circumstances, and understand that worrying about it won’t make things better. He implies that even in the midst of a busy existence, one can find tranquility.

One of the main ideas put out by Sunim is that peace is independent of outside factors. It’s just not going to happen to wait for everything to be flawless, much like when you expect unicorns to appear. There will always be something going on, some kind of distraction or pressure. The secret is to learn how to maintain your composure in the face of external chaos. Whether your phone is ringing nonstop or the kids are yelling in the adjacent room, the goal is to create an inner sanctuary—a mental place where you may go to find calm.Sunim also makes the point that tension frequently originates in our imaginations. We are preoccupied with thoughts of the past or worries about the future all the time. Our fears seem to be crammed into a mental suitcase that we carry around with us every day. I think we should set that suitcase down, Sunim. Well, it’s easier said than done. However, he’s got it right. He claims that we may let go of all that mental baggage when we live in the present. Why waste time and energy worrying about the past or the future when they have already passed? It’s similar to driving a car in that you will crash if you keep gazing in the rearview mirror or too far ahead. 

In the end, changing your viewpoint is the key to finding calm in a busy environment. People will always need your attention, and the world will never cease being busy. But you have total power over how you react to all of that. Sunim’s message is extremely clear: although you are powerless for everything that occurs to you, you do have influence over how you respond to it. There is a sense of calm that you create that no amount of chaos can take away when you learn to slow down, be present, and treat yourself compassionately.

Chapter 3: Handling Disappointments with Grace

Disappointment is one of those emotions that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. One minute, you’re excited about something, a job, a relationship, a goal, and the next, it feels like the universe pulled the rug out from under you. Handling disappointment is tough. It feels like the world is mocking your plans, and sometimes, you can’t help but take it personally. In Chapter 3 of Haemin Sunim’s book, he takes on the tricky subject of dealing with disappointment and shows us how we can navigate it with grace, rather than bitterness or frustration.

The first thing Sunim wants us to understand is that disappointment is inevitable. No matter how carefully you plan your life, things are bound to go wrong. That dream job you thought was in the bag? Someone else got it. That trip you were planning for months? Canceled due to bad weather. Life is unpredictable, and disappointment is a natural part of it. Sunim suggests that instead of trying to avoid it altogether, we should learn how to manage it better when it does show up.

The tricky part is that disappointment can feel like a personal failure. When things don’t go as we expected, it’s easy to start questioning ourselves. “Was I not good enough? Did I make a mistake? What’s wrong with me?” It’s like we have a built-in critic in our heads, ready to pounce at the first sign of trouble. Sunim’s advice here is refreshingly simple: don’t beat yourself up. Just because something didn’t work out doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of your worth or abilities. Sometimes, things just don’t align the way we hope, and that’s okay. Life isn’t out to get you—it’s just being life.

One of the more interesting points Sunim makes is about expectations. Disappointment often comes from having unrealistic expectations in the first place. We build up these elaborate ideas in our minds about how things should go, and when reality doesn’t match up, we feel crushed. Sunim suggests that by adjusting our expectations, we can reduce the sting of disappointment. This doesn’t mean you should lower your standards or stop hoping for good things. It just means being open to the possibility that things might not turn out exactly as you imagined, and that’s okay. Flexibility is key here. If you can roll with the punches, you’ll find that disappointment doesn’t knock you down as hard.

Sunim also talks about the importance of resilience. Disappointment can feel like a setback, but it’s also an opportunity to build strength. Every time you get knocked down and get back up, you’re developing a kind of emotional muscle that helps you deal with future challenges. It’s like going to the gym—at first, lifting those heavy weights is painful, but over time, you get stronger. The same goes for handling disappointment. The more you practice bouncing back, the easier it becomes.

One of the best ways to handle disappointment, according to Sunim, is to focus on gratitude. This might sound a little counterintuitive—how can you be grateful when you’re disappointed? But Sunim explains that even in the midst of disappointment, there’s always something to be thankful for. Maybe things didn’t work out the way you wanted, but there’s always a silver lining if you look for it. Maybe you learned something new about yourself. Maybe you discovered a new passion or made a new friend along the way. Shifting your focus to what you do have, rather than what you lost, can help you handle disappointment with a little more grace.

Another important point Sunim makes is that we’re not alone in our disappointments. It can feel isolating when something goes wrong, like you’re the only person in the world who’s going through it. But the truth is, everyone experiences disappointment. 

Sunim also emphasizes the power of acceptance. When disappointment hits, our first instinct is often to resist it. We fight against reality, clinging to the idea of how things should have been. But resisting only makes the disappointment worse. Sunim encourages us to practice acceptance instead. This doesn’t mean you have to like what happened or pretend it’s all okay. It just means acknowledging the situation for what it is and letting go of the need to control it. When you accept things as they are, rather than how you wish they were, you free yourself from a lot of unnecessary suffering.

At the end of the day, disappointment is part of life, but it doesn’t have to defeat us. Sunim’s message in this chapter is clear: we can handle disappointment with grace by being kind to ourselves, adjusting our expectations, and focusing on gratitude. Disappointment isn’t the end of the road, it’s just a bump along the way. And sometimes, those bumps lead us to places we never expected, but ultimately needed to go. So the next time life doesn’t go according to plan, take a deep breath, find your inner calm, and remember that handling disappointment with grace is a skill you can practice, and get better at over time.

Chapter 4: Building Stronger Relationships

We all believe we are skilled at strengthening relationships until we discover we may not be. In certain cases, relationships leave us thinking, “How did we even get here?” since they are chaotic and complex. However, Haemin Sunim asserts that establishing enduring, solid partnerships need not be as difficult as it might seem. Without becoming a human doormat or a relationship guru, he walks us through some straightforward but effective suggestions in this chapter that will help us connect with the people in our lives in more meaningful ways.

This is probably something you’ve heard a million times, but it’s real. One of the main causes of relationship problems is inadequate communication. We presume that the other person understands our thoughts, or even worse, we believe that we understand theirs. Sunim urges us to stand back and have true conversations with one another. and not only over the evening meal or the weather. Deeper connections can only be reached through meaningful talks. Make inquiries. Pay attention. Communicate your ideas without assuming the other person understands you.

The shocking thing is that listening is equally as important to communication as speaking. Active listening, as opposed to nodding along while surreptitiously making your grocery list. Sunim says you should be totally present when someone is speaking to you. It seems simple, doesn’t it? However, there are a lot of distractions in our environment; our phones ring, our thoughts stray, and occasionally, we find ourselves more preoccupied with our next move than with what the other person is actually saying. Active listening entails paying close attention, maintaining eye contact, and demonstrating your interest in what the other person has to say. It’s incredible how much this small gesture can change a relationship.

Naturally, disagreements will arise in any relationship because it is not flawless. How we handle conflict makes all the difference, whether it’s a minor argument or a major one. Sunim advises that when things grow heated, we should take a minute to breathe and answer coolly rather than responding on an impulse. Although it may seem easy, maintaining our composure is frequently the last thing we want to do when things get heated. He offers some excellent counsel about handling disagreements amicably, patiently, and with an open mind that prioritizes working together to find a solution above trying to “win” the fight. Understanding is more significant in relationships than winning.

Sunim also discusses the value of forgiveness in interpersonal interactions. People make mistakes, let’s face it. Everyone does. However, harboring resentment or keeping track of who has wounded someone more than others is a definite way to erode a connection. To be forgiven is to choose to let go of animosity that could sour your relationship with the other person. It does not imply that you approve of what transpired. According to Sunim, when we forgive, we release the burden of resentment and hurt, enabling the relationship to mend and get stronger. Well, it’s easier said than done. However, if the relationship is important to you, it will be worth the work.

Lastly, Sunim reminds us that relationships are a two-way street. It’s not about one person doing all the work while the other sits back and enjoys the ride. Both people need to invest time, energy, and care into the relationship for it to thrive. This means being willing to compromise, support each other’s dreams, and show up when it matters most. It’s about being a team, where both people are working toward the same goal: building a relationship that can stand the test of time.

So, what’s the takeaway from this chapter? Building stronger relationships isn’t about grand gestures or being perfect all the time. It’s about the little things, listening with empathy, communicating openly, giving each other space, forgiving mistakes, and showing appreciation. It’s about creating a foundation of trust, love, and mutual respect that can weather life’s ups and downs. And while it’s not always easy, the effort is always worth it because, at the end of the day, strong relationships are what make life meaningful and joyful.

Chapter 5: Embracing the Present Moment

Embracing the present moment sounds like such a simple notion, doesn’t it? Quit worrying about the future and stop thinking about the past; just concentrate on the here and now. However, as anyone who has attempted to do so knows, it’s easier said than done. Our minds are like overindulged squirrels, racing from one idea to the next, fretting over everything from dinner plans to the events of the next five years. This chapter takes us on a trip to discover the significance of being in the present as well as strategies for calming our racing, restless brains. Written by Haemin Sunim.

Let’s start by discussing the reasons we are so terrible at this. People have this peculiar behavior. Sunim notes that one of the main causes of stress and sadness is this ongoing mental time travel. We frequently repeat regrets or setbacks when we’re mired in the past. When we’re stuck in the future, we’re worrying about things we can’t control. In any case, we’re losing out on the moment, which is happening in front of us. Realizing how much time we actually spend outside of the present moment is one of the first steps towards embracing it. Sunim proposes that we begin by monitoring our thoughts. It’s similar to watching a soap opera in that we’re constantly immersed in drama. But instead of getting caught up in every story twist, he advises us to merely watch the show from a distance, without getting too attached. By repeating this, we may train our minds to recognize when our thoughts are dragging us out of the present and gently bring ourselves back to it. 

Sunim recommends that we practice this in a joyful way by giving our all to basic tasks like eating or walking. Sounds a little dull, doesn’t it? But consider how frequently we perform these routine duties on autopilot. When was the last time you actually tasted your food without simultaneously watching TV or browsing via your phone? Sunim asks us to take it slowly and appreciate these times. Take note of the food’s flavors, textures, and chewing sensation. Similarly, when we walk, how often do we actually feel the earth beneath our feet and notice how our footfall is rhythmic? We may teach ourselves to be present in the moment more frequently by raising awareness of these little gestures.

We constantly look forward to the next big thing, which makes it difficult for us to live in the now. We believe that “everything will fall into place” or “I’ll be happy once I get that promotion” or “I’ll be in a relationship when I finally get it.” It’s known as the “if only” trap by Sunim. I’ll start living my best life if only this one thing comes to pass. The issue is that, even when we achieve our goals, new challenges are always lurking around the corner. We eventually find ourselves living our entire lives in anticipation of the future, letting the present pass us by. What is Sunim’s advice? Give up on dreaming of some unreal future and begin to value the present moment. There’s always something to be thankful for right now, even if things aren’t perfect—and let’s face it, they rarely are. Perhaps it’s the fact that you have a roof over your head, a satisfying cup of coffee, or a quiet moment during a hectic day. We can change our perspective from one of scarcity to one of plenty by concentrating on the small things in life that are wonderful right now.

Naturally, it’s not always simple to remain in the moment, particularly when unexpected events occur in life. Sunim admits that there are instances when life is difficult right now. Additionally, Sunim reminds us that living in the present does not imply ceasing to plan for the future or think back on the past. Those things are essential too. But keeping your distance from them is crucial. When we live too much in the past or the future, we miss out on the richness of life that’s happening right now. The paradox is that by keeping our attention in the here and now, we free ourselves from needless anxieties and regrets, which makes it easier for us to face the challenges of the future. Ultimately, accepting where we are at this time, even if it differs from where we had anticipated being, is the key to living in the now. Finding joy in the little, ordinary things is the goal.

Chapter 6: Overcoming Stress and Worry

Anxiety and tension are similar to those unsanctioned visitors at a party who won’t go. Even when you truly don’t want them around, they somehow manage to show up. They give everything a heavier, needless sense of complexity. Haemin Sunim addresses these unwelcome feelings head-on in this chapter, educating us on healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety without losing our minds or tearing our hair out.

Let’s start by discussing the sources of stress and concern. Usually, they originate from circumstances in which we see ourselves to be powerless. That sense of not knowing what’s going to happen sets off those feelings of uncertainty. When was the last time you experienced stress? Sunim also underlines the crucial point that fighting against stress frequently makes it worse. We become anxious about being anxious. It resembles an unending cycle of anxiety that never stops feeding itself. Sunim advises us to accept the tension without passing judgment on it, as opposed to attempting to combat it. “All right, I’m freaked out right now. That is typical. It’s alright. Sometimes, the force of stress is diminished just by acknowledging its existence. Stress doesn’t feel quite as overwhelming when we accept it as a normal part of life and stop fighting it.

In relation to feeling overpowering, let’s take a moment to discuss anxiety. Stress’s obnoxious little sibling is worry. It manifests when we obsessively consider potential outcomes. One strategy that Sunim discusses is scheduling “worry time.” As strange as it may seem, there are instances when allowing oneself to worry might really help you feel less stressed. Alternatively, you may tell yourself, “Okay, I’ll think about this for ten minutes later tonight,” to prevent concern from taking over your entire day. When “worry time” finally arrives, you may discover that the issue you were worrying about has either passed or that you have devised a workable solution. Slowing down is one of the finest methods to deal with stress, in Sunim’s opinion. Our bodies and minds tend to speed up when we’re under stress. In an attempt to do everything as soon as possible, we race through tasks, yet this simply makes matters worse. According to Sunim, feeling overwhelmed should really be taken as a cue to calm down. Take a break, go for a stroll, or just stop for a short while to gather your thoughts. While it may seem counterproductive at first, taking a brief break to slow down might provide you more mental clarity and reduce stress when working on your responsibilities. In addition, Sunim stresses the significance of self-care for stress management. Being busy is generally praised in our culture, but being always on the move leads to fatigue. It’s okay to take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Setting aside time for enjoyable pursuits can help reduce stress, whether it be reading, writing, or meditation.

Lastly, Sunim talks about the power of letting go. Attempting to control things that are beyond our control is the main source of our tension and anxiety. We cling tenaciously to goals, results, and even the opinions of others. Unfortunately, we are unable to control everyone or everything, even though we try  to do so only leads to more stress. Ultimately, reducing stress and anxiety doesn’t mean doing away with them completely. They will inevitably appear because they are a necessary component of existence, whether we like it or not. However, we may lessen the influence that stress and worry have on our lives by altering the way we handle them. Sunim offers straightforward but effective advice: take it easy, breathe, and let go. Although it’s not always simple, we can learn to manage stress and anxiety with far less terror and a bit more grace with experience. And who knows? When we let go of the burden of the world, we can even discover that life feels a bit lighter.

Chapter 7: Discovering Joy in the Little Things

Discovering joy in the small things sounds easy, right? But it seems like we’re always looking for the big events in today’s world—the huge promotions, the trips that will change our lives, or the large celebrations that would cap off everything perfectly. But in this chapter, Haemin Sunim offers a welcome reminder that there are a lot of little moments in life that are just as, if not more, joyous. It all comes down to learning to recognize and value the small, common joys that we frequently take for granted. And believe me when I say that it’s revolutionary.  

So, what are these “little things” we’re supposed to find joy in? Commence with something as fundamental as your daily cup of coffee. Sunim advises calming down rather than chugging it down as you dash out the door—yes, he’s that huge. One more instance? the climate. You did really read correctly. There is something to be grateful for in any weather, sunny or pouring with rain. You get to enjoy the feeling of warmth on your face when it’s sunny. When it’s raining, it’s a good idea to stay indoors and enjoy the tranquil sound of falling rain. Sunim teaches us that it’s not so much about what’s happening, but how we choose to experience it. Even the most routine day can be made to feel exceptional by changing our perspective and searching for the little pleasures in the things that are frequently taken for granted.

One of Sunim’s main points is that we frequently miss happiness because we’re too preoccupied with striving for something greater. All of us have been there before—waiting for the ideal job, the trip of a lifetime, or the significant achievement that we think will ultimately bring us contentment. However, Sunim gently prods us to see that always focusing on such monumental occasions can cause us to lose sight of the joys that are right in front of us. If you can find happiness in the small things, like going for a stroll or reading a nice book, why wait for a huge event to make you happy? Walking, incidentally, is also one of Sunim’s small pleasures. He describes how going for a leisurely, contemplative stroll may completely change your outlook. When you stroll slowly, you begin to take in details that you might otherwise miss, such as the way the leaves rustling in the wind, the hues of the flowers that line your route, or even the sensation of your feet hitting the earth. It helps one rediscover the present and find contentment in simply existing rather than doing all the time.  The idea that joy is something you don’t have to earn or acquire is another recurring subject in this chapter. It’s not a trophy waiting for you at the end of a long, grueling marathon. Rather, if you’re prepared to take the time to slow down and search for it, it’s something that is already at your disposal. We frequently neglect to pause and savor the moment because we’re too preoccupied with our lists of things to do, our objectives, and our obligations. Sunim’s message is very clear: happiness is a state of mind rather than a place. The good thing is that you can access it regardless of your location or activity.

This delight approach’s best feature is that it doesn’t call for any additional equipment. You don’t need to buy anything new or go somewhere special to find it. You already see it in the most commonplace things around you. It can be found in the warmth of your favorite blanket, the taste of a prepared meal, or the grin of a complete stranger. Because they appear so little, these are the things we frequently take for granted. But even the greatest accomplishments can’t compare to the way they may fill your heart when you take the time to appreciate them. Finding happiness in the small things ultimately comes down to altering our perspective on reality. It’s about understanding that happiness doesn’t have to be an uncommon, sporadic occurrence. It’s something we can work on every day, even in the most minute circumstances. Joy is all around us, just waiting to be discovered, whether it’s the sound of birds chirping in the morning, the sensation of clean linens on your bed, or the accomplishment of checking something off your to-do list. Slow down, take in your surroundings, and find delight in the small things is Sunim’s straightforward but impactful message. These little moments make up life, and when we learn to value them, we find that happiness isn’t as unattainable as we once thought. It has always been there.

Chapter 8: Letting Go of Perfection

Letting go of perfection is a topic that hits home for many of us, especially in a world that constantly seems to shout, “You need to do better!” and “Look perfect at all times!” It’s like we’re all part of an unspoken competition where the prize is unattainable perfection—who can post the best vacation photos, have the best job, or bake the perfect soufflé. Spoiler alert: no one is winning this game. Haemin Sunim dives into this topic with a refreshing blend of wisdom and humor, reminding us that perfection is not only boring, but it’s also a huge source of stress.

First off, let’s be honest: striving for perfection is exhausting. It’s like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands, just when you think you’ve got a grip, it slips away. We’ve all been there, frantically trying to keep up with the latest trends or make sure our lives look as flawless as a magazine cover. But the truth is, everyone has their mess. Behind those polished photos and impressive resumes, there are probably some awkward moments, burnt dinners, and wardrobe malfunctions that never make the cut. Sunim encourages us to embrace our quirks and imperfections instead of hiding them. After all, those awkward moments often make the best stories!

Let’s talk about social media for a second. It’s like a highlight reel of everyone’s life, and if you’re not careful, it can make you feel like you’re the only one who’s not living a picture-perfect existence. You scroll through feeds filled with stunning sunsets, delicious meals, and smiling faces, and suddenly your average Tuesday seems pretty underwhelming. But Sunim points out that what we see online is often a carefully curated version of reality. Behind those perfect posts, there are likely some not-so-perfect moments that are left out. By remembering this, we can stop comparing ourselves to these unrealistic standards and start appreciating our own lives, imperfections and all.

Now, imagine if we could turn our attention from the impossible ideal to just being ourselves. How much lighter would that feel? Instead of worrying about whether our hair is perfect or if our house looks like it belongs in a design magazine, we can focus on what truly matters—being present and enjoying life as it comes. Sunim reminds us that letting go of perfectionism can lead to greater happiness. When we stop trying to control everything and accept ourselves as we are, we open ourselves up to a more fulfilling and authentic experience.

Another great point Sunim makes is that perfectionism often comes from a fear of failure. We worry that if we don’t do something perfectly, we’ll be judged or rejected. But here’s the thing that failure is part of life. It’s how we learn and grow. Think about it, most successful people have a long list of failures behind them. Those flops and missteps are often the stepping stones to something great. So why should we hold ourselves back out of fear? By letting go of the need to be perfect, we give ourselves the freedom to try new things, take risks, and embrace the messiness of life.

Sunim also introduces the idea of “good enough.” This concept is like a warm hug on a cold day. Instead of aiming for perfection, what if we aimed for “good enough”? It’s a much kinder goal. Whether it’s finishing a work project, cooking dinner, or simply getting through a day, striving for good enough allows for mistakes and imperfections. It frees us from the pressure to be flawless and lets us enjoy the process instead. 

Sunim emphasizes that we should treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend. When we slip up or don’t meet our own high expectations, it’s easy to be our own worst critic. But what if, instead, we gave ourselves a break? Imagine telling yourself, “It’s okay; nobody’s perfect!” It sounds simple, but this shift in mindset can work wonders for our mental well-being. By being gentle with ourselves, we can learn to accept our flaws and appreciate our unique qualities.

Humor is another fantastic tool when it comes to letting go of perfection. Life is full of surprises, and sometimes the most unexpected moments are the ones that bring the most joy. Sunim encourages us to laugh at our mistakes and see them as part of the adventure. Did your soufflé collapse? Great! Now you have a funny story to tell! Embracing our imperfections with humor allows us to navigate life with a lighter heart. It reminds us that nobody has it all figured out, and that’s perfectly okay.

As we journey through life, we can start practicing letting go of perfection by embracing the concept of “progress over perfection.” Instead of getting bogged down by the need to be perfect at everything, we can celebrate our progress, no matter how small. Did you manage to get out of bed today? High five! Did you complete that project, even if it wasn’t exactly how you envisioned it? Celebrate! Recognizing and acknowledging our efforts fosters a more positive mindset, allowing us to appreciate our growth rather than fixating on what we didn’t achieve.

Finally, Sunim reminds us that letting go of perfection is a continuous process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It takes practice, patience, and a lot of self-reflection. But the more we consciously make an effort to embrace our imperfections, the easier it becomes. We start to see that perfection is an illusion and that life is richer and more vibrant when we allow ourselves to be fully human, flaws and all. 

In conclusion, letting go of perfection is about accepting ourselves as we are beautifully imperfect and wonderfully unique. It’s a call to shift our focus from unattainable ideals to the everyday moments that make life meaningful. By practicing self-compassion, embracing the concept of “good enough,” and infusing a bit of humor into our lives, we can free ourselves from the burdens of perfectionism. After all, life is too short to spend it chasing an impossible dream. Instead, let’s celebrate the messy, beautiful, and perfectly imperfect journey we’re all on. Because when it comes down to it, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real. And real life is way more fun.

Chapter 9: Cultivating Mindfulness Every Day

Cultivating mindfulness every day might sound like one of those trendy phrases you hear on a wellness podcast while sipping your green smoothie, but it’s more than just a buzzword. It’s like having a superpower that helps you deal with life’s craziness, kind of like the ability to find your keys after losing them for the umpteenth time! Haemin Sunim dives into this topic with his usual charm, guiding us to weave mindfulness into our daily routines and find joy in the ordinary. Let’s break it down into bite-sized pieces, shall we?

First off, what exactly is mindfulness? In simple terms, it’s the practice of being present in the moment. You know that feeling when you’re munching on a delicious slice of pizza, and you’re fully focused on every cheesy bite? That’s mindfulness! It’s all about tuning in to what’s happening right now rather than getting lost in a whirlwind of thoughts about yesterday’s mistakes or tomorrow’s to-do list. Sunim emphasizes that mindfulness is not just for the monks on mountaintops, it’s for all of us busy folks just trying to get through the day without losing our minds.

Another great way to incorporate mindfulness is through your meals. Instead of wolfing down your food while scrolling through your phone, try to savor every bite. Picture yourself as a food critic, fully engaging your senses. What does the food smell like? How does it taste? Is it crunchy or soft? By paying attention to your meals, you not only enhance your dining experience but also encourage healthier eating habits. Plus, you might discover that your homemade lasagna tastes a whole lot better when you’re not inhaling it in five minutes!

Sunim reminds us to take a moment to appreciate the world around us. Whether you’re taking a stroll in the park or just sitting in your backyard, take a deep breath and soak in the sights and sounds. Maybe it’s the rustling leaves, the chirping birds, or even that squirrel that seems to have it all figured out. Being outside can help ground you in the present, allowing you to feel more connected to the world around you. Just don’t forget to take a moment to appreciate that squirrel—it’s living its best life!

Mindfulness isn’t just about quiet moments; it can also apply to our busy lives. Ever find yourself in a rush, running late for an appointment, and feeling like you’re juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle? Yeah, we’ve all been there! Sunim suggests that even in those chaotic moments, we can still practice mindfulness. Instead of letting stress take over, pause for a second. Take a deep breath and focus on what you can control. Maybe it’s your breathing, your pace, or even your mindset. By bringing awareness to the present moment, you can transform a stressful situation into a chance to practice calmness. Plus, you might even arrive at your appointment with a little less chaos swirling around in your brain.

In our hyper-connected world, it’s easy to get sucked into the digital vortex. We’re constantly bombarded with notifications, emails, and social media updates. Sunim points out that while technology can be great, it can also distract us from the present. So, how about setting aside some time each day to unplug? Maybe it’s during dinner, where everyone leaves their devices in another room, or on a weekend hike where you focus on the beautiful surroundings instead of your phone. You’ll be surprised at how refreshing it feels to step away from the screen and immerse yourself in the real world. Plus, your friends will thank you for not live-tweeting every second of your lunch date!

Gratitude is another fantastic aspect of cultivating mindfulness. Taking a few moments each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for can shift your mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. Sunim encourages us to create a gratitude journal, where we jot down the little things that bring us joy. Maybe it’s that barista who knows your coffee order by heart or the cute dog you saw on your walk. Focusing on gratitude helps us appreciate life’s simple pleasures and creates a positive feedback loop that can boost our overall happiness.

Mindfulness can also extend to our relationships. In a world where everyone seems to be rushing around, taking the time to really listen to those we care about is crucial. Instead of zoning out while your friend shares their latest drama, practice active listening. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and show genuine interest in what they’re saying. You’ll not only strengthen your bond but also practice mindfulness in the process. Plus, who doesn’t love a good gossip session with a friend? Just remember to keep your judgments in check!

Finally, let’s touch on the idea of self-compassion. Sunim emphasizes that mindfulness is not just about paying attention to the world around us but also about being kind to ourselves. We all have moments of doubt or frustration, and that’s okay! Instead of beating yourself up over a mistake, try treating yourself as you would a good friend. Give yourself the grace to be human, to stumble, and to learn. Embracing self-compassion allows us to navigate life’s ups and downs with more ease and less self-judgment.

In conclusion, cultivating mindfulness every day is all about finding joy in the ordinary and staying present in our fast-paced world. By incorporating mindfulness into our daily routines, meals, nature walks, and relationships, we can create a more fulfilling and joyful life. Whether we’re tackling mundane tasks or navigating stressful situations, mindfulness provides us with the tools to embrace the moment. So, let’s raise a toast to mindfulness, because who doesn’t want to live life a little more fully and a lot more joyfully? Plus, it’s a whole lot easier than trying to achieve that elusive state of perfection!

Chapter 10: Living with Balance and Calm

Living with balance and calm in today’s chaotic world is like trying to walk a tightrope while juggling flaming torches, difficult and somewhat terrifying! But fear not; Haemin Sunim is here to guide us through this balancing act with his usual wit and wisdom. In Chapter 10, he dives into how we can create a sense of equilibrium in our lives without losing our minds or, more importantly, our sense of humor. So, let’s explore how to navigate the circus of life and find our calm center amidst the chaos.

First things first, let’s talk about the importance of balance. Imagine your life as a seesaw. If one side is weighed down with work, stress, and endless to-do lists while the other side is left empty, you’re going to end up flat on your face! That’s where Sunim comes in, encouraging us to distribute our time and energy more evenly across various aspects of our lives. It’s like making sure your dinner plate has a little bit of everything, some veggies, a healthy portion of protein, and of course, a side of dessert! Without balance, we risk burnout, unhappiness, and a general sense of chaos that makes us feel like we’re running in circles.

Another essential ingredient in the recipe for balance is self-care. Sunim emphasizes that taking time for ourselves is not selfish; it’s necessary. Just like your phone needs charging every now and then, so do you! Whether it’s taking a long bubble bath, going for a nature walk, or simply curling up with a good book and a cup of tea, these moments recharge our batteries and restore our inner calm. Picture yourself as a phone that’s perpetually at 1% not a fun way to live, right? So, carve out that “me-time” and treat yourself to some joy. You’ll be amazed at how much more balanced and productive you feel afterward.

 Physical activity isn’t just good for our bodies; it’s like a reset button for our minds. Ever notice how a quick walk can clear your head? It’s almost like the stress melts away, leaving behind a clearer path for creativity and calmness. Plus, it’s a fantastic way to escape the clutches of the never-ending scrolling on social media. So, put on those sneakers and get moving! Your mind and body will thank you.

Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room, technology. While our gadgets can help us stay connected and organized, they can also create a whirlwind of distractions. Sunim reminds us that it’s crucial to set boundaries with our devices, or we risk becoming slaves to our screens. Consider implementing tech-free zones or times in your day. Maybe it’s during meals, where you engage in meaningful conversations rather than scrolling through Instagram. Or perhaps you dedicate an hour before bedtime to unwind without screens. Trust me, the world will still be there in the morning, and you might even sleep better without those pesky notifications interrupting your dreams of unicorns and rainbows.

Another vital aspect of living with balance and calm is gratitude. Sunim highlights the power of appreciating the little things in life. Instead of fixating on what’s wrong or what we lack, let’s take a moment to celebrate what we have. Maybe it’s the delightful aroma of your morning coffee, the warmth of a cozy blanket, or that one friend who always knows how to make you laugh. Practicing gratitude helps shift our focus from scarcity to abundance, creating a more positive and balanced outlook on life. You might even find yourself smiling at the simplest things a butterfly fluttering by or a dog wagging its tail. It’s the small joys that keep us grounded.

Mindfulness, as discussed in previous chapters, plays a significant role in achieving balance too. By practicing mindfulness, we become more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s like being the conductor of our own life orchestra, ensuring everything is in harmony. When we slow down and pay attention, we can respond to life’s challenges with more clarity instead of reacting impulsively. This awareness helps us prioritize what truly matters, allowing us to let go of unnecessary stress and distractions. Imagine dealing with a stressful situation with the calm of a Zen master instead of a frazzled squirrel, it’s a game changer!

Sunim encourages us to nurture our relationships and connect with others. Surrounding ourselves with supportive people creates a safety net that can help us regain balance during tough times. When life throws curveballs, having a solid support system can make all the difference. So, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family when you need a listening ear or a helping hand. Sharing our struggles and triumphs fosters a sense of connection and community that can uplift us during challenging times.

Lastly, embracing imperfection is key to living with balance and calm. Sunim reminds us that it’s perfectly okay not to have everything figured out. Life is messy, and trying to control every little detail is a recipe for stress. Instead of aiming for perfection, let’s aim for progress and growth. Celebrate your quirks and flaws, they make you uniquely you! When we accept our imperfections, we free ourselves from the unrealistic expectations that can weigh us down. So, let’s throw away that imaginary ruler we’ve been using to measure our worth and embrace the beautiful chaos that life brings.

In conclusion, living with balance and calm is not just a lofty ideal; it’s something we can cultivate in our everyday lives. By setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, embracing gratitude, and practicing mindfulness, we can navigate the craziness of life with a sense of humor and grace. It’s all about finding that sweet spot where we can juggle our responsibilities while still enjoying the ride. So, let’s grab life by the horns, find our balance, and tackle each day with a smile, because after all, who says we can’t have fun while we’re at it? Life may be a circus, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be the star performers!

Takeaway and final review of the book:

The Past is Like an Old Movie: Just Don’t Rewind It, Remember that time you tripped in front of your crush? But guess what? It happened, and there’s no use reliving it like a rerun of your least favorite sitcom. The past is done, dusted, and better left in the archives.

Slow Down to Speed Up: Life often feels like a race, with everyone rushing around like headless chickens. But here’s the secret: when you slow down, you actually speed up your understanding of what matters. Take a moment to breathe and appreciate the world around you. You’ll find clarity and strength in the calm, turning life’s chaos into a more manageable pace. Plus, you might even notice that beautiful tree you pass every day.

Set Boundaries Like a Boss: Imagine trying to juggle five flaming torches while riding a unicycle. Sounds fun, right? Not really! Setting boundaries helps you avoid becoming that circus performer. It’s perfectly okay to say “no” sometimes. Protect your time and energy like they’re a rare Pokémonvaluable and worth guarding. When you learn to prioritize yourself, you’ll find it easier to handle life’s challenges without feeling like a human doormat.

Make Time for Self-Care: Self-care isn’t just a trendy buzzword; it’s a necessity! Think of it as charging your phone. If you don’t plug it in, you’ll be left with a dead battery when you need it most. Whether it’s a long bath, reading your favorite book, or indulging in a guilty pleasure show, taking time for yourself will recharge your spirit. Treat yourself like the precious gem you are because who wouldn’t want to sparkle?

Exercise Your Body and Mind: Physical activity is not just for fitness buffs. It’s a magical elixir for both body and mind! Moving your body helps clear away the mental cobwebs and boost your mood. Sunim encourages us to find an activity we enjoy—whether it’s dancing like nobody’s watching or practicing yoga while wearing mismatched socks. Just get moving, and you’ll feel more balanced and relaxed in no time.

Limit Your Tech Time: Let’s face it, our devices can be major distractors. If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media instead of living your life, it’s time for a digital detox. Set tech-free zones and moments in your day where you can truly be present. Your friends and family will appreciate your undivided attention, and you might just discover the joys of being unplugged. Plus, you’ll finally get to the bottom of that book you’ve been meaning to read!

Practice Gratitude Daily: Gratitude is like a magic spell that transforms your outlook on life. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, take a moment each day to appreciate the little things—like that perfect cup of coffee or the silly cat video that made you laugh. Keeping a gratitude journal can help you cultivate a positive mindset, turning mundane moments into sources of joy. After all, happiness is often found in the simple things, like a good pun or a sunny day.

Embrace Imperfection: Newsflash: nobody is perfect! Trying to achieve perfection is like chasing a mirage, it just leads to frustration. Instead, embrace your quirks and imperfections. They make you uniquely you! Life is about growth and learning, not fitting into an unrealistic mold. So, wear your mismatched socks proudly and accept that it’s okay to stumble sometimes; it just means you’re human.

Build Strong Relationships: Strong connections with others are vital for our well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who lift you up. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it, vulnerability is a sign of strength. Sharing your struggles and successes can create a beautiful web of connection and understanding. Plus, who doesn’t love a good laugh with friends?

Live in the Moment: The past is a memory, and the future is a mystery, so why not enjoy the present? Mindfulness is the key to truly experiencing life. Whether you’re savoring a meal or appreciating a sunset, being present allows you to fully engage with your surroundings. Practicing mindfulness can turn everyday moments into magical experiences, like finding joy in the steam rising from your morning tea.

Balance is Everything: Lastly, balance is the name of the game! Life is a juggling act, and it’s all about finding the right mix of work, play, and self-care. Keep experimenting until you discover what works for you. Remember, it’s perfectly fine to have days when things feel out of whack. Just be gentle with yourself and know that balance is an ongoing process, like trying to perfect your pancake-flipping skills.

In summary: “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” teaches us to embrace life’s simplicity and beauty. With a little humor and a lot of heart, we can navigate life’s ups and downs while staying calm and collected. So go ahead, take a deep breath, and enjoy the ride!

“The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” by Haemin Sunim is a refreshing guide that invites readers to step back from the frenetic pace of modern life and embrace a more mindful existence. Sunim, with his warm and engaging writing style, presents profound insights wrapped in relatable anecdotes and humor. Each chapter flows smoothly, tackling essential topics like finding peace amid chaos, handling disappointments, and building stronger relationships. The author’s blend of wisdom and wit makes the book not just informative but also highly enjoyable, encouraging readers to laugh and reflect simultaneously.

One of the standout features of this book is its practicality. Sunim doesn’t just preach about the virtues of slowing down; he provides actionable advice that readers can integrate into their daily lives. From setting boundaries to embracing imperfection, each takeaway is accompanied by relatable examples that resonate with everyday experiences. Sunim’s gentle reminders to practice gratitude, prioritize self-care, and live in the moment serve as a comforting nudge for anyone feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands. The emphasis on self-compassion and authenticity shines through, making the book feel like a supportive friend guiding you through challenging times.

In conclusion, “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” is more than just a self-help book; it’s a heartfelt invitation to reconnect with oneself and the world around us. Sunim’s insights remind us that amid life’s noise, there is beauty to be found in stillness and simplicity. Whether you’re looking for guidance on dealing with stress or simply seeking a more fulfilling way to live, this book offers a treasure trove of wisdom. It encourages us to embrace life’s little joys and teaches us that sometimes, all we need is to slow down to truly see what matters most.